First Post

Okay, finally I've decided to do this. I doubt many people will read this or even find this, but I wanted to create some laughs along the way. I've had pretty severe insomnia for about four months--the anxiety induced kind (we think). At first... my sleep just started deteriorating. Then I was getting 3 hours of sleep.... then it was one.... then it was less than that. I went to a doctor who prescribed Ambien, and that's where this idea started.  I've always kept a journal, and am sometimes not very faithful about it, but my counselor suggested I do it more frequently as I started going to him. I would start writing after I had taken the ambien and the next day would see things I didn't remember writing. I tended to swear a lot more, talk about sex a lot more, worry in a silly way. Those that had to be around me would giggle and it sort of provided some relief to my extreme sleep deprivation and exhaustion. I wondered how many people are going through the same thing as I am and this blog idea was born. I'm going to catch anyone reading up to date by posting like mad all the journals I've written thus far, and probably scan them onto here (Because they are not quite the same without seeing my ambien writing skillzzzz). There may be some videos (if I get over the shame of how ridiculous I am while taking ambien). 


If anyone ever finds this I hope they laugh a little. I also hope to help anyone reading understand a little more insomnia, if only just from my drugged point of view. It's often thought of as normal sleep disturbances--everyone has periods of not sleeping well-- but really it's a serious thing when one consistently, and for long periods of time, does not sleep well. Real insomnia (whether a primary disorder or caused by something else) often appears to those that have never had it as "laziness", or "overexaggeration", or even just simply "whining," which makes it even more difficult for someone with insomnia to cope with what they're going through. Complete exhaustion, lack of focus, lack of concentration, anxiety, depression, an inability to react quickly in driving situations, and sometimes weight gain can all accompany this lack of sleep (And more!) Tasks that used to take two hours now take double that time, and planning out your day is sometimes a must so that you can get in all the things that you need to do before you're too tired to go out. Some uncontrollably fall asleep during the day, some can't even do that. My point is, that if you know someone suffering from insomnia, try to understand what it is they go through. Maybe even ask instead of attaching a well worn stigma!


Now on to Ambien Blog Insanity!